Inspired by Cari

Top 10 Things the Meaner Side of Me Desperately Wants to Say to You:

1. You are a complete f-ing idiot for smoking so much pot.  No, really, you're an idiot.  No, really, there are no positives.  Good luck with that.
2. Please, keep texting.  I'm sure this gossip shit is way more important than your future.
3. You are a complete f-ing idiot for using drugs.  Enlightenment?  Try failed bodily functions and a lifetime of misery.  Look at every artist who used in order to help "see beyond."  Not one of them happy or moral.  That's only found in sobriety. 
4. You are not going to be a professional NBA/MLB/rapper.  
5. You look like a prostitute.  Jesus.  Be more than a pair of boobs.
6. You're tired?  Huh.  Why don't you go to bed before f-ing 3 am then?  
7. You hate drama?  Stop being a bitch.
8. You are a complete f-ing idiot for getting wasted every weekend. You are boring for never coming up with a more interesting way to spend your time.  And no one thinks you're as funny as you do.
9. Your macho who-gives-a-shit attitude reveals that you're dying inside.  You're aren't fooling anyone. 
10. Stop f-ing talking while I'm talking.  I want to beat the crap out of you. 

Irony's definition is
the belief that you

are the first
to face this impediment.

Stumbling, cursing, frantically
trying to re-organize the

chaos distorted around
your once-perfect, structured life.

No one understands.
You are an island.

The first ever
to apply, to fail,

to fill out
an application, a resume,

or face an
interview, or death's glare,

to feel alone,
with a lost soul. 

You see: irony.
Feeling alone in a

crowd of similarities.
Not knowing where to

turn, as a
sea of hands crashes

its comfort waves
around your drowning figure.